Not Another Lemon
by Galaxy1001D
Summary: Kim and Shego star in the nastiest, smuttiest, most degrading piece of pornography ever written. So nasty in fact, that they refuse to do it.
1. Chapter 1

**Not Another Lemon! **

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

In his evil lair, the villainous Doctor Drakken laughed manically. "Bwa-ha-ha-ha! It's time to begin the countdown! In less than ten minutes a massive tidal wave will wash across the country! The United States will be destroyed! When the flood has subsided, laser-satellites will dry out the country and this land will be mine!" With those words, the blue-skinned villain pushed a button on his control panel and a set of numbers appeared on a computer monitor.

A girl's voice rang out. "Not so fast, Drakken!" Up on the catwalk overlooking the massive chamber was—

"Kim Possible?" cried Drakken in surprise and despair.

"And don't forget Ron Stoppable!" said the petite redhead's plucky blonde sidekick who stood next to Kim with a naked mole-rat perched on his shoulder.

"How did you find me?" bawled the mad doctor.

Kim pulled out what appeared to be a hair dryer with a grappling hook loaded in it. "Next time you try to blackmail the world, remember that the United Nations has Caller ID." The grappling hook discharged from her hair dryer and a rope spooled out. The grappling hook lodged itself in the ceiling and Kim grabbed Ron and swung down to the floor.

"Nrgrah!" groaned Drakken in frustration. "Shego!"

As cool techno music played from hidden loudspeakers, the mad scientist's beautiful enforcer leaped into view. Although she was only average height, her athletic figure radiated power. Her pale skin contrasted with her midnight black hair. Her cruel green eyes matched her green and black outfit. In contrast, Kim appeared dainty and underdeveloped. Only the redhead's eyes revealed her skill in unarmed combat.

"Hi, Kimmy!" Shego smiled as her fists ignited with an eerie green glow. "Ready for a beating you won't forget?"

Kim's eyes betrayed no fear. On the contrary, she smiled in anticipation. "Bring it!"

With an aggressive growl, Shego lunged at Kim, attempting to rake her with her glowing claws. Kim leaped over Shego's charge and struck the villainous vixen with a back kick as she landed. "Ron! Stop the countdown!"

"I'm on it Kay-pee!" cried the skinny boy, his voice an octave higher than he intended. He dashed towards the control panel and the criminally insane Doctor Drakken. "Rufus, find a way to stop the countdown while I keep Drakken busy!"

"Roger!" chirped the naked mole rat as it jumped off his shoulder and landed on the control panel. As the hairless rodent pushed buttons, Ron tackled the mad doctor.

In the meantime, Shego body slammed Kim, sending them both tumbling to the floor. As they rolled across the chamber, Kim seized Shego's wrists to keep her deadly glowing hands from touching her. When they had stopped rolling, Shego was on top, her emerald green eyes were less than a foot away from Kim's. Her face was feral, exited, primal. As they wrestled, the two fighting females brought their faces closer… closer… closer… until…

They hugged and fondled each other in a passionate embrace as they sucked on each other's mouths.

After nearly an entire minute of groping and kissing, Shego pulled herself off Kim and made a 'T' shaped gesture with her hands. "Okay, time out," the raven-haired beauty announced. "I can't do this. What's my motivation?"

"Excuse me?" Kim raised an eyebrow as she wiped her mouth off.

"Kimmy, we were trying to kill each other and suddenly we're making out?" Shego protested. "I know this story is a lemon, but it needs to be sorta real. I can't act under these circumstances."

"What's the big?" Kim asked as she stood up and brushed her orange-red hair with her hands. "You've been in lots of stories where our actions don't make sense. Why did you save me in the pirate episode? That was canon and I still don't get it."

"The point was I was getting paid a lot more, Princess," Shego frowned, "and I wasn't on screen and naked for eighteen chapters!" She pulled a sheaf of papers out of a holster strapped to her leg. "Let's take a look at the script."

"Okay, it couldn't hurt I guess," Kim agreed as took a copy of the script out of her backpack.

"Hey, what's going on down there?" Ron asked. "Are you two making out or what?"

"Why didn't you tell us you two were taking a coffee break?" Drakken sneered. "The buffoon and I beating the tar out of each other and you two are taking a load off!"

"Yeah!" Rufus added as he brandished his tiny fist.

"Okay guys hold on," Shego said in a condescending tone appropriate for a patient mother. "I just want to check something out before we get back to the porn."

"Sorry guys," Kim apologized. "Our bad. We should have told you we were taking five."

"I'm going to get something to eat," Drakken grumbled. He glanced at Ron. "Care for some corndogs?"

"Pop-Pop Porters?" Ron asked.

"Yeah that's what it says on the box," Drakken replied as he took a box of frozen corndogs out of a nearby freezer.

"Um, yummy-yummy!" the naked mole rat rubbed his stomach with his forepaw.

"You're speakin' my language, Doctor Dee!" Ron grinned.

"I doubt it," Drakken muttered as he put three corndogs into the microwave. "You two use so much teen slang that half the time C3PO couldn't tell what you're saying."

"Star Wars ref!" Ron gushed. "Awesome Doctor Dee! Way to go with the bondiggity pop cult ref there!"

"What?" Drakken looked back in confusion. "Sorry buffoon. Didn't catch any of that. I rest my case."

Meanwhile the two girls were paging through the script. "What?" Shego shuddered in horror. "What the heck is _this_?"

"I think I'm gonna hurl," Kim gagged as her face lost all its color.

"There is no way I'm sticking my tongue in _there_," Shego growled. "I'm not being paid enough for this!"

"This has got to be the sickest, most degrading story ever written…" Kim muttered in disbelief. "I can't believe that anyone sick enough to write this watches the Disney Channel."

"He probably gets off looking at the underage stars," Shego retorted. "Trust me, Pumpkin, whoever wrote this is _sick_!"

The sound of a microwave chime was heard and Drakken handed Ron a hot corn dog. "So are we ready to get back to work now?" the blue skinned scientist asked irritably. "Are we going to do this or what?"

"Take your time," Ron said while he and Rufus munched on their corn dogs. "We'll be ready in a minute."

"Well you're gonna have to do it without me," Shego announced. "I'm outta here."

"What?" Drakken gasped. "You can't do that! This whole story is about you and the cheerleader getting it on with each other."

"Yeah, you two have done this before," Ron chuckled as he winked at his naked mole rat. "It's no big, right Kim?"

"Sorry Ron," Kim said timidly, "but I'm with Shego on this one."

"What?" Ron gasped. "But… but… you've been in lots of Kigos! Lots of 'em! You've been in nasty stories where horrible stuff happens too! What's the big with this one?"

"Ron have you even _read_ this story?" Kim shook the script in her hand for emphasis.

"Oh yeah!" Ron jumped up in the air and clenched his fists in youthful enthusiasm. "I'm not in it much until chapter eleven, then Yori shares with me the secrets of the orient! Ron Stoppable gets his tubes tied ninja style!" He used his thumb to give Rufus a 'high five'. "Can't wait for chapter eleven!"

"That's… um, great Ron," Kim stammered. "But doesn't the degrading porn and lack of plot get to you?"

"No way!" Ron giggled. "No one is going to be reading this for _plot_, that's for sure! They're going to be reading this for—"

"Ron!" Kim frowned in irritation.

"Sorry KP," Ron shrugged. "Look you've been in lots of nasty stories before. Half of 'em are on this website. You've been a lesbian, a rape victim, a single mother, a teen suicide and a murder victim. I don't see what the big deal is."

"The deal is that at least the other stories had some literary or redeeming value," Kim retorted indignantly. "This story is pure filth from beginning to end! It's non-stop smut that degrades both men and women! It's horrible!"

Shego walked out a doorway carrying a suitcase. "Okay, Doctor Dee, I'm off to Hawaii," the emerald enforcer announced. "Bye guys, see you next time."

"Shego, I'm barely in this!" Drakken protested. "This story is all about _you_! What am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

"I don't know," Shego shrugged. "There's a chapter featuring you and Warmonga. Maybe you could do that. Have a lemon all to yourself. That would be fun wouldn't it?"

"Are you kidding?" Drakken growled. "That woman is over ten feet tall! How am I supposed to satisfy a woman like that? If it didn't kill me, making love to her would get me hospitalized for weeks!"

"Don't worry about a thing, Doc," Shego handed him a copy of the script. "Get a load of this."

Drakken stared at the page in disbelief. "There's no way…" he gasped. Thrusting the script back in Shego's hands, he ran out of the room and slammed the door behind him. The sound of a zipper being undone was audible, and the others could hear Drakken shout. "I don't believe it! It's **_huge_**!"

"What is he talking about?" Ron scratched his head in puzzlement.

"I dunno," Rufus shrugged.

"Is saying what I think he's saying?" Kim asked her emerald nemesis.

"Yup," Shego nodded as she pointed out the part in the script. "It's like a blue anaconda. It figures," she blew a strand of her onyx hair out her eye in frustration. "_This_ is the story where I'm a lesbian. He's never equipped like that in a Drakken/Shego story I tell ya…"

"Stop," Kim gagged. "Hurl factor reaching critical here!"

"You won't believe it!" A pale and shaken Drakken announced when he reentered the room. "It's freakishly huge! I'm like a tripod or something! Now I know why I wear a coat that goes down to my ankles and wear such baggy pants!"

"Kigo story," Shego growled. "Man, I could just kill the sadist who wrote this!"

"Come on Ron, let's go," Kim sighed.

"Go?" Ron protested. "But what about chapter eleven? While you and Shego are doing the Kama Sutra, Yori and I were going to get it _on_! Come on, Kim! I need this!"

"You've had lots of lemons of your own Ron," Kim sneered. "It's time to go. If you wanna stay here, go ahead. I'm leaving."

"Hey Princess, I'm going to Maui, wanna come with?" Shego offered. "As long as we're in a Kigo, we may as well make the most of it."

"Sure, why not?" Kim shrugged. "Ron is getting a little too weird right now anyway."

"Hey! Come back here!" Ron cried as the two green-eyed vixens walked out of the complex. "We can't do this! I know there's a lot of smut in this one but the main story is Kigo! Hey do you hear me? Come back! Hey…!"

Drakken looked down at his shoes. "I feel so dirty…"

"Drakken we can't give up!" Ron announced as he struck a dramatic pose and pointed the ceiling. "I'm going to make out with Yori in chapter eleven no matter what. This isn't over!"

"Yeah!" Rufus affirmed as he imitated Ron's stance.

TBC…?


	2. Take Two

**Not Another Lemon! **(Take Two)

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

In his evil lair, the villainous Doctor Drakken laughed manically. "Bwa-ha-ha-ha! It's time to begin the countdown! In less than ten minutes a massive tidal wave will wash across the country! The United States will be destroyed! When the flood has subsided, laser-satellites will dry out the country and this land will be mine!" With those words, the blue-skinned villain pushed a button on his control panel and a set of numbers appeared on a computer monitor.

A foreign girl's voice rang out. "Not so fast, Honorable Doctor!" Up on the catwalk overlooking the massive chamber was—

"Kim Possible?" cried Drakken in surprise and confusion.

"And don't forget Ron Stoppable!" said the Japanese girl's plucky blonde sidekick who stood next to her with a naked mole-rat perched on his shoulder.

"Who's she?" bawled the mad doctor.

"She's a friend of mine," Ron answered defensively, "but don't worry, she kicks just as much butt as Kim does."

"It will be my honor to stand in for Kim Possible, especially during the dating scenes with Ron-san," the slender girl was Kim and Ron's age and height, but she moved like a dancer and spoke in a stilted formal style. "Kim does have many dates with you in this story, doesn't she Ron-san?"

Sweat appeared on the boy's brow as he smiled guiltily. "Sure… Yori, that's how these stories go, you know that."

"I thought this story had mostly Kigo in it," Drakken called out.

"Er uh…" Ron stammered.

"Why Stoppable-san, you have brought me into a story featuring a poetic style from my country," Yori smiled. "Very romantic."

"What?" Ron was dumbfounded.

"This story features _kigo_, a term that denotes a poetic allusion to the seasons in my country," Yori blushed. "You and your American-style romance. It is very sweet of you, Ron-san." She leaned foreword and kissed the blushing Ron on the cheek.

"Yuck," Drakken stuck his tongue out. "Honestly, I don't even know why I sign up for these kind of stories. Okay let's get this over with. You got Shego to come back didn't you?"

"Uh, not really…" Ron rubbed the back of his neck guiltily, "but don't worry, the girl I got to play Shego is just like her. You won't know the difference."

"Oh really?" Drakken raised on side of his unibrow skeptically. "She'd have to be a real…"

"Which one of you losers is supposed to give me my cue?" A curvy brunette appeared dressed in Shego's green and black harlequin style uniform. "I don't have all day you know."

"Drakken was supposed to give you your cue, Bonnie," Ron informed her.

"Who is this brat? Have I even seen her before?" Drakken grumbled. He frowned in concentration and stroked his chin as he studied her. "She does look familiar though. Didn't I clone her once?"

"You cloned her more that once, Middleton was filled with Bonnie clones," Ron told him as the cheerleader backed out of the room. "Don't you remember that one?"

"Oh yes, it's all coming back," Drakken nodded. "As I recall the cheerleader clones were actually pretty deadly. Okay, let's get back in to it. Where were we? Oh yeah, 'Kim Possible', the buffoon introduces himself, 'How did you find me'…blah-blah-blah!"

Yori pulled out what appeared to be a hair dryer with a grappling hook loaded in it. "The next time you attempt to blackmail the world honorable Doctor, you must remember that the United Nations has Caller ID." The grappling hook discharged from her hair dryer and a rope spooled out. The grappling hook lodged itself in the ceiling and Yori grabbed Ron and swung down to the floor, where they separated and assumed combat poses.

"Nrgrah!" groaned Drakken in frustration. "Shego!"

As cool techno music played from hidden loudspeakers, the mad scientist's beautiful enforcer leaped into view. Although she was only Kim's height, her curvy athletic figure radiated power. Her tan skin matched her teased brunette hair. Her cruel brown eyes clashed with her green and black outfit

"Hi, Kimmy!" Bonnie smiled as she struck a martial arts pose. "Ready for a beating you won't forget?"

Yori's eyes betrayed no fear. On the contrary, she smiled in anticipation. "It will be my honor to defeat you!"

With an aggressive growl, Bonnie lunged at Yori, attempting to rake her with her gloved fingers. Yori leaped over Bonnie's charge and struck the bratty cheerleader with a back kick as she landed. "Ron-san! It will be your honor to stop the countdown!"

"AAAGH!" Bonnie screamed as she rolled on the ground and curled into a fetal position. "Time out!"

"What's wrong now Bonnie?" Ron asked wearily.

"I'm hurt!" Bonnie groaned as her eyes flashed in anger. "Your female Jackie Chan nearly kicked my spleen out!"

"Ron-san, you told me that Shego knew how to fight," Yori protested.

"She does… I think," Ron stammered guiltily. "I mean, the Bonnie clones didn't seem to feel pain. They were ferocious!"

"Call nine-one-one!" Bonnie groaned.

"Ron-san, I have shamed myself," Yori bowed in apology. "I must return home and purify myself. I am sorry, but I cannot dishonor you by staying."

As Yori walked away, Ron shouted after her. "What? Sure you can! This story is all about dishonor! What about chapter eleven, Yori? Chapter eleven! Come back…!" the boy whined.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Drakken muttered, "and that's a pain in the patootie because my doctor told me not to lift heavy weights!"

"Ah come on!" Ron whined. "Bonnie, you aren't hurt that bad, are you? Come on, get up!"

"I really hate you," the girl growled venomously.

"Man…" Ron walked away and pulled out what appeared to be a portable video game. "Wade patch me in to Kim."

"Can do," a boy's voice replied from the little gadget.

"Kim come in," Ron said. "We really need you here."

Meanwhile miles above the Pacific Ocean, a commercial jet was heading west to the tropical island of Hawaii.

"Wow, first class, evil really pays sometimes," Kim said to her criminal counterpart.

"It pays big in money, but not so much in the personal department," Shego told her. "I tell you, it's hard to watch _A Christmas Carol_ sometimes."

"I can imagine," the redhead nodded. The familiar chime of her communications device was heard. "Whoops the Kimmunicator," she said as she operated a device strapped to her wrist. "I gotta take this. What's the sitch, Wade?"

"Kim? It's me Ron. Have you and Shego changed your minds about the porn story yet?"

"No, and I don't think we're gonna," Kim frowned. "Honestly Ron, that story is horrible! Shego and I spend most of the time tied up and naked while every villain in the series has their way with us!" There was a pause. "Ron? Are you still there?"

"Sorry Kim," Ron's voice apologized. "I kind of spaced out after you mentioned you and Shego being tied up and naked…"

"Boys," Kim grumbled. "Look Ron, that story is too sick for an adult site, let alone this one. Let it go!"

"Come on, Kim you don't have to do all eighteen chapters," Ron begged. "Just hold out until chapter eleven, that's all I'm asking. Most writers are lazy and don't finish their stories anyway!"

"Ron! The Seniors ravish us in chapter twelve!" Kim snarled. "Honestly, have you even _read_ this story you love so much?"

"Uh… I'm not actually in most of it aside of the first chapter and chapter eleven…" Ron admitted.

"This thing is sick! Let it go!"

"Come on, Kim you've been in Kigos before…"

"Ron!" Kim scolded. "Look at the script! It's not a Kigo, it's a snuff film. I have been in lots of Kigos! Some of them were works of art! I have been in Kigos written so well that even bigoted homophobes wept at their beauty! Romances! Adventures! Comedies! Tragedies! Drama! They may not have been canon, but they were beautiful stories that featured redemption contrasted with a romance that many find hard to accept. I have nothing against Kigos! What I have is a problem with is smut! And this story you love so much is the dirtiest piece of garbage that ever polluted the internet!"

"Ya got that right," Shego snorted. "It's so bad, Larry Flynt wouldn't touch it! Brrrr!" she shivered in disgust.

"Sorry Ron, but this one's a no go," Kim finished. "See you in the next one, okay? Bye?" She deactivated her Kimmunicator, ending the transmission.

"So your little sidekick wants us to go through with that garbage, huh?" Shego asked from her seat. "Boy, that guy has a twisted villain in him dying to come out."

"No he doesn't!" Kim frowned.

"Honestly Princess, if he hadn't met you at an early age he would have grown up to be a villain," Shego commented.

"Well, he didn't," Kim stammered. "Ron's not that way… He just needs some direction sometimes…"

"I'll say," Shego nodded. "You better keep a short leash on him or he'll do an Anakin Skywalker on you faster that you can say 'computer porn'."

Kim bit her lip and looked out the window nervously.

TBC…?


	3. Take Three

**Not Another Lemon! **(Take Three)

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

In his evil lair, the villainous Doctor Drakken laughed manically. "Bwa-ha-ha-ha! It's time to begin the countdown! In less than ten minutes a massive tidal wave will wash across the country! The United States will be destroyed! When the flood has subsided, laser-satellites will dry out the country and this land will be mine!" With those words, the blue-skinned villain pushed a button on his control panel and a set of numbers appeared on a computer monitor.

A teenage boy's voice rang out defiantly. "Not so fast, Drakken!" Up on the catwalk overlooking the massive chamber was—

"Kim Possible?" cried Drakken in surprise and confusion.

"That's right!" Ron announced from under his red wig. "And right here is Ron Stoppable, my trusty sidekick!"

The blond boy beside him wore Ron's hockey jersey, but it was nowhere as baggy on his tall muscular frame the way it was when Ron wore it. "Ron I'm confused, who am I again?"

"Brick, we've been through this," Ron scolded. "I'm Kim Possible, teen hero, and you're Ron Stoppable, blond and athletic sidekick.

"Wait a second," Brick Flagg stammered. "If I'm you and you're Kim, does this make us boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Ew! No! Ew!" Ron shuddered as he backed away. "You'll notice that I'm wearing Kim's old mission clothes, the ones from seasons one to three. I'm in the black sweater, not the purple outfit. It's cool."

"Didn't Kim's shirt show off her belly button?" Brick asked.

"I've got the wig, it's no big deal," Ron shrugged. "This story is a lemon anyway, the clothes will come right off soon."

"So what do I do?" the good-natured quarterback asked.

"It's simple," Ron told him. "I'll handle the martial arts, the gymnastics and the heroics. You just be blond, good looking, and act like you don't know what you're doing."

"But I _don't _know what I'm doing," Brick insisted.

"It's okay," Ron told him as he took his naked mole rat out of his pocket. "If you run into trouble, Rufus will talk you through it. Won't you Rufus?"

"Roger," the plucky rodent smiled and gave a snappy salute.

"Are we going to do this or what?" Drakken sneered.

"We're cool! We're cool!" Ron assured him. "Have you found somebody to be Shego yet?"

"Yeah, I did," Drakken nodded. "Black hair, martial arts expert, check."

"Okay, then let's do this!" Ron cheered. He leaned over and whispered to Brick. "The first four chapters are lesbo action! I've got it made!"

"Dude, you rock!" Brick tapped Ron's fist with his fist in congratulation.

"Okay, Brick your line!" Ron ordered.

"And don't forget Ron Stoppable!" Brick barked as Rufus perched on his shoulder.

"How did you find me?" bawled the mad doctor.

Ron pulled out what appeared to be a hair dryer with a grappling hook loaded in it. "Next time you try to blackmail the world, remember that the United Nations has Caller ID." The grappling hook discharged from his hair dryer and a rope spooled out. "Ha-ha! I'm Kim! This is so badical!" The grappling hook lodged itself in the ceiling and Ron grabbed Brick and swung down to the floor. "Whoa! You gotta lose some weight there, buddy!" Ron said as they reached the floor. "You nearly threw out my back up there!"

"Nrgrah!" groaned Drakken in frustration. "Shego!"

As cool techno music played from hidden loudspeakers, a bestial man in a green and black harlequin style outfit leaped into view. He wore no shoes, exposing his furry apelike feet that featured opposable thumbs. The backs of his powerful hands were similarly covered in a coarse black fur.

"M-monkeyfist?" Ron stammered.

"He matched the description and was the only one I could get at short notice!" Drakken called out.

"Stoppable?" Monkeyfist removed the longhaired black wig that concealed his messy coarse hair. "Drakken, you told me I would be making time with a cheerleader."

"I thought you were going to," Drakken told him. "Who knew the buffoon was going to take Kim Possible's place himself?"

"I thought this story featured lesbo action," Brick muttered to Ron. "It looks like some other kind of story to me."

"Drakken!" Ron bawled. "What's up with this, huh?"

"He's what we've got to work with!" Drakken snarled. "Take it or leave it!"

Ron shut his eyes and chanted his mantra. "Remember chapter eleven. Remember chapter eleven. Yori's counting on you, Ron-man." He opened his eyes and faced his apelike enemy. "Okay, Monkey-man, let's do this!" he challenged.

"Very well, Monkey-hater," Monkeyfist sneered in his most arrogant English accent. "Let's just bring it, shall we?"

With an aggressive growl, Monkeyfist lunged at Ron, attempting to kick him with his powerful apelike leg. Ron leaped over Monkeyfist's charge and struck the apeman with a back kick as he landed. "Ron! Stop the countdown!"

"What?" Brick asked.

"Brick! _You're_ Ron! Not me! Remember?"

"Oh yeah!" the quarterback nodded. "I thought you were going to handle the hero stuff!"

Ron dodged, flipped, and blocked Monkeyfist's blows as he shouted to his substitute. "Brick! You're a two-hundred pound quarterback and Drakken's an egghead who is twice your age! You can take him!"

"Oh yeah! Right!" Brick nodded as he dashed towards the control panel and the criminally insane Doctor Drakken. "Naked mole-guy, what do I do if he's packin'?"

"Oh brother!" chirped the naked mole rat as it jumped off his shoulder and ran over to the control panel. As the hairless rodent jumped and climbed up to the controls, Brick tackled the mad doctor.

"Yeowch!" Drakken squealed. "Time out!"

In the meantime, Monkeyfist body slammed Ron, sending them both tumbling to the floor. As they rolled across the chamber, Ron seized Monkeyfist's wrists to keep his furry hands from seizing his neck. When they had stopped rolling, Monkeyfist was on top, his insane dark eyes were less than a foot away from Ron's. His face was feral, exited, primal. As they wrestled, the two mortal foes brought their faces closer… closer… closer… until…

"What's taking so long?" Drakken complained. "Are you two making out or what?"

Sweat dripped off of Monkeyfist's face. Ron grimaced nervously.

"I got him, Ron… I mean, Kim!" Brick called out. "Now what?"

Shuddering in revulsion, Monkeyfist closed his eyes and pursed his lips. Gagging, Ron tried to the same.

"For crying out loud, getting tackled by this kid is like being hugged by Warmonga!" Drakken growled as he elbowed Brick in the face. "Let go of me! The two monkey-freaks are supposed to be getting it on, not us!"

The struggle on the floor was certainly homoerotic. Both Ron and Monkeyfist's muscles were flexed and rippling as they each tried to gather up the courage to kiss each other.

Finally, almost by accident, their lips touched.

The two sprung apart and leaped to their feet, gagging and wiping their mouths off.

"Gah!" Ron screamed. "It tastes like monkey!"

"Ugh!" Monkeyfist choked. "It tastes like human!"

"Dude, that is just sick and wrong…" Ron scolded.

Rufus, sensing Ronald's distress left the catwalk to scurry over to Ron's side. As he bent down to pick his little friend up, he heard the chime of the Kimmunicator.

Beep beep, de-beep!

"Ron here," Ron answered as she pulled out the blue video game style Kimmunicator Kim had used in the first three seasons. "What's the sitch, Wade?" He chuckled self-consciously. "Man, I've always wanted to say that!"

"Ron?" Kim's face appeared on the little screen. "What is that on your head?"

"Oh this?" he said as he attempted to straighten his red 'Kim Possible' wig. "Just a little something that says 'the show must go on', KP."

"That's not all it says," Kim sneered.

"I notice you don't seem to be wearing much," Ron smiled knowingly. "Change your mind about doing the porn story?"

"Ron, I'm at the beach!" the redhead scolded. "I'm wearing a bathing suit! I don't even want to know what weird thing you're doing without me. I just called you up to warn you about the lemon you seem to love so much. You're in more than just chapters one and eleven."

"Really? Hold on a minute," Rufus handed the boy a sheaf of papers and the boy started flipping through them. "Wait a minute! It says here that I'm in chapter eight too! And so is Mrs. Doctor Possible! Kim in chapter eight I do it with your mother!"

"Ron, I didn't mean chapter eight…"

"Me and your mom!" gasped the boy as he brushed the wig's red hair out of his eyes. "Me and my best friend's mom! Holy smokes! I mean, what's not to like about Anne Possible? Sure there's an age difference, but that don't mean nothin' in stories like this…"

"Ron…"

"Sure I've thought about me and your mom," Ron paced nervously. "I mean, who hasn't? But it's just not right, can I really do that?"

"Ron, there's nothing right about this story…" Kim said as she tried to get a word in edgewise.

"I know she's really fine and all, but I feel like she's my mother too, you know what I'm saying?" Ron was sweating now. "I mean, I know I really want to, but can I really do it?"

"Ron, that is _way_ too much information," Kim snapped. "Could you chill here? I'm not talking about you and my mother. I'm talking about what happens in chapter thirteen."

"What happens in chapter thirteen?" Ron nervously asked as he flipped ahead.

"See for yourself porn-man," Kim smirked. "I've got to warn you, it's not pretty."

"Like anything in that story is," Shego's sarcastic voice could be heard.

As Ron skimmed chapter thirteen, his freckled face lost all color. "Yori and I are captured by… Monkeyfist?!"

"That's right," Kim scolded, "and he spends all of his time with you and forces Yori to watch. Still think this is such a great story?"

Ron stared at Monkey fist in horror.

"Pass," the apeman shuddered. "You'll have to do that chapter without me."

"Uh… maybe we should call it quits on this one," Ron stammered weakly into the Kimmunicator. "Hope the next guy writes something else and cut our losses. See you in the next story, KP."

"Good boy," Kim smiled condescendingly. "Shego and I are in Hawaii, see you when we get back. Out."

Kim and Shego were sitting in lawn chairs at a beautiful beach wearing one-piece bathing suits. Kim deactivated the oval Kimmunicator strapped to her wrist and looked over at Shego. "See, all he needs to stay out of trouble is a little direction."

"If you say so, Princess," Shego didn't seem one hundred percent convinced. "Don't look now, but the focus is on _us_ now."

"Oh! Right," Kim glanced up in surprise. "Hi there, I'm Kim Possible."

"And I'm Shego," the emerald enchantress said without moving.

"When we agreed to do this story, we were told that we would be in a Kigo and show off some skin," Kim explained.

"Instead we found out it was a slime fest that would disgust a nymphomaniac," Shego shuddered. "No way was I going to do _that_!"

"So we've decided to go ahead with what we were told, but do it _our_ way," Kim smiled. "Kids!" she called. "Come over here will you?"

"Sheki! Kasy Ann!" Shego shouted. "Get over here right now! If you don't listen to your mother, you're going to be in big trouble young ladies!"

Joining Shego and Kim were two four-year-old children. Both of them were girls who had forest green eyes and white skin with a greenish tint.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Kasy Ann Possible and Sheki Go, our twin daughters."

"They aren't identical," Shego said as she pointed at the two little girls' heads. One of them had orange red hair like Kim did and the other had black hair with green highlights like Shego did. "See? They were just born at the same time."

"Kasy and Sheki were invented by the talented Kigo writer NoDrogs in her classic story _A Small Possibility_," Kim explained.

"Since then they've been used by other writers and NoDrogs hasn't complained as long as she is acknowledged as their creator," Shego continued. "So don't use 'em without giving NoDrogs credit, _capiche_?" The green vixen shook a flaming green fist threateningly. "If you do there's going to be trouble!" she snarled.

"Shego, don't scare Kasy and Sheki," Kim scolded as she hugged the two four-year-olds.

"I'm sorry, sweeties," Shego said as she spread her arms to hug her children. "I wasn't angry at _you_. You know how mommy talks sometimes. Come here. Give your mommy some love."

"The point we're trying to make is that Kigo doesn't mean porno," Kim said as Shego hugged and comforted her daughters. "The thing that makes homosexuality so gross is the same thing that makes heterosexuality so gross. The sex. Just keep it rated 'G' and you can keep that Disney charm!"

"Yeah," Shego nodded. "If you keep it clean and it doesn't matter if it's canon or not. It will still feel like your story is on the Disney Channel. You'll notice that Kimmy and I are at the beach. That's the 'G' rated way to show off our sexy bodies. And with Sheki and Kasy here we've got a Kim/Shego love going without a trace of smut. Right now, we're as X-rated as a rerun of _The_ _Brady Bunch_."

"So you see, you can have a slash pairing without pornography," Kim smiled. "Say no to porn. You'll be glad you did. See you next time!" Kim waved as Shego, Sheki and Kasy grinned and waved too.

As the beach fades out, Ron's voice can be faintly heard. "Me and _Monkeyfist_? Man that is just wrongsick!"

END


End file.
